15 Lessons from Teaching Digital Literacy for 15 Years
- Diana Graber
- Sep 8
- 5 min read
15 years ago, I walked into my sixth-grade daughter’s classroom to teach the very first lesson in Cyber Civics. Back then, Facebook was only a few years old, Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat were yet to be launched, and AI was still the stuff of science fiction.
I was there because the school had just experienced its first "cyberbullying" incident—some middle school girls had been mean to each other on Facebook. The principal asked me, a media literacy expert, to help him preempt future problems by "inoculating" students with knowledge.
In that first lesson, I introduced students to the idea of becoming "de-tech-tives," a concept inspired by the late Dr. Jason Ohler’s book, Digital Community, Digital Citizen, and shaped by the themes I learned from Dr. Pamela Rutledge, two professors I'd met while studying media psychology in the graduate school. On that first day, the students and I explored how people throughout history have adapted to new tools.
Although much has changed since that first lesson, one thing remains the same: it’s still not about the tools, but about how we, as humans, learn to live with them—ethically, safely, and wisely.
Over the last 15 years, I've taught thousands of students, launched and expanded Cyber Civics into a curriculum used across the US and beyond, written a book on digital parenting, and spent countless hours in conversation with experts, parents, and educators. Along the way, I've learned a few things—15 to be exact—that I hope you’ll find useful whether you are a parent, an educator, or like all of us, just trying to navigate technology mindfully.
We learn more from kids than they do from us.
We’ve been told that kids are "digital natives" who instinctively know more about technology than we do, but that is not my experience. They're more like digital explorers: curious and eager to figure tech out (including how to get around it!). Listening to their questions, struggles, and insights has made me a better educator and a better tech user!
What kids need most is our wisdom.
Rest assured, they don't need us to show them how to upload a video to YouTube. What they do need is the wisdom we've earned through lived experience. Sharing this with children helps them make thoughtful choices in an online world full of easy wrong turns. (But this doesn't let you off the hook from being curious yourself!)
Empathy is still the most important digital skill.
Nearly every expert I interviewed while writing Raising Humans in a Digital World told me that if they could grant kids one digital superpower, it would be empathy. The anonymity of the internet can make it easy to be cruel, cutting, and thoughtless, but empathy—the ability to understand and share another’s feelings—is the best antidote. As Dr. Michelle Borba told me, "Empathy grows with face-to-face connections." You can’t learn that from a chatbot.
Misinformation is a citizenship issue.
As Cyber Civics grew to include lessons in media and information literacy, it became clear that misinformation would be a topic we could not ignore. It’s no longer enough to teach kids how to spot a fake headline. Today, they must understand how AI shapes and distorts content, how bias influences what we believe, and the ethical responsibility of sharing information. Without legitimate information, students won’t be able to make good decisions as citizens.
Privacy is a habit, not a setting.
With AI collecting personal data every time we use a device, it’s easy to feel like privacy is a lost cause—especially if you’re 12. But this is exactly the age when kids need to learn that their personal information is valuable and worth protecting. Privacy isn’t just a toggle in a menu; it’s a mindset and a habit. Once students understand how their data is used and how much it’s worth, they start to care deeply about protecting it.
Today’s threats are seriously next level.
As I write this, I’m getting a text message “phishing” for money, the FBI recently issued a warning about "sextortion" scams targeting teen boys, and Reuters reports that Meta’s chatbots "engage a child in conversations that are romantic or sensual." Advanced technologies are enabling next-level scams, and unless kids are taught how to spot and avoid them, they could be easily preyed upon.
Teaching balance is better than banning.
Banning a platform, an app, or even a phone often encourages secrecy. I remember 6th grade boys sneaking devices into the bathroom at lunch to play games when they thought no one was watching. Today, bans without education might lead kids to binging when they are finally reunited with their phones. A healthier approach is to teach them the benefits of balance too. They should learn about the design features tech companies use to capture their attention and be provided strategies to recognize and resist those pulls.
The best parental control? It's between their ears.
No app or filter can compete with a child’s ability to think critically about what they do or who they connect with online. Critical thinking takes time to develop and, like ethical thinking, it gets better with practice (and age), especially if that practice happens offline, with real people.
It takes a village.
Digital problems are best solved within communities, not alone. I’ve been blessed to spend time with communities of students where we could discuss problems before they happened online or solve current dilemmas within the safe walls of their classroom. When students talk through scenarios with peers, they discover perspectives they’d never have considered on their own. These conversations build both digital and human skills.
Online and offline are not separate things.
Early on, we used the terms "real life" and "digital life." But for kids, there’s really only one life, and it flows seamlessly between the two. What happens online affects offline relationships—and vice versa. That’s why I love the term coined by Canada’s The White Hatter: "onlife." It perfectly describes what kids consider just one world.
Kids are pretty awesome.
Given the chance, most students want to act responsibly, be kind to others, and create amazing things online. What they often lack is simply adult guidance and support. When we express curiousity rather than judgment, kids generally rise to the occasion. I’ve watched it happen.
Digital literacy requires an all-hands-on-deck approach.
Thankfully, most of society has realized that digital literacy should be a non-negotiable component of a child’s education. If your children's schools are not teaching it, then it’s time to ask them why. Digital literacy works best when parents, teachers, and administrators align on values and expectations too, that way kids receive a consistent message and feel supported in their digital lives.
AI demands a new kind of literacy.
Today, digital literacy must include AI literacy. AI isn't just a new tool; it's literally becoming embedded in everything we do. There is no time to waste in teaching students to ask critical questions about it: What does it mean to be a creator when an AI can generate an essay or image for me? How might AI get in the way of my own learning? Digital literacy today is about understanding AI and using it ethically as a tool, not a toy or a companion.
Technology can be a power for good.
We can’t overlook technology's incredible power for good. With all of the challenges it poses, it still offers incredible opportunities for students to connect, learn, be creative and get inspired. We do them no favors by focusing only on tech’s downsides.
The most important tool we have is each other.
Finally, after 15 years, I've learned that talking to kids, and each other, about our digital lives—with curiosity, not judgment—is the single most effective way to navigate the challenges and embrace the opportunities that come with each new tool.
Who knows what the next 15 years will bring, but whatever it is... let's keep talking.
Diana Graber is the founder of Cyber Civics and Cyberwise and author of Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology.
